Lately, I’ve felt led to share the story of how our sweet baby girl came into our lives. It’s my number one favorite story of all time and I would absolutely love it if, by telling it, I was able to encourage just one (or maybe more) of you readers out there.
So, here goes…
Travis and I had been married for two and a half years when I came down with a serious case of the baby bug. It took a couple of weeks to convince Trav that we were ready to enter such a serious stage of life, but soon he warmed up to the idea.
I was the kind of girl that went into it just knowing I would get pregnant the very first month of “trying.” I was so convinced that I actually put pregnancy tests in Trav’s Christmas stocking that year. I know, I know…I have a weird sense of humor.
A few weeks after Christmas, I went to Dallas for a girls getaway. The time for me to find out that I was preggers would have been while I was on the trip, so I made sure I had my pregnancy tests in tow. Needless to say, I was stunned when I began to feel my cramps creepin’ in the day before I should have taken the test. I was completely annoyed when I “started” the next day and it was obvious that I was not in fact pregnant.
I thought, “Oh well, I’m sure it will happen next month.”
Little did I know that this was the beginning of many, many, many months of frustration.
Patience has never been one of my virtues, and it was definitely in short supply during this time in my life.
After a few months, I started buying fertility predictor kits, books, herbs, a basal thermometer, and all sorts of other crazy stuff that was supposed to “fix” the problem we were facing. We charted, we researched, we tried this, we tried that.
I read Taking Charge Of Your Fertility front to back and, by-golly, I was ready to “take charge.”
Still, nothing.
Each month, I would get my hopes up, but each month would end in tears.
It’s such a roller coaster. You have one week of “trying,” two weeks of waiting to find out, then one week of absolute devastation. Then you start the whole cycle over again. Then again. Then again. Then again.
Some months were worse than others. It was the first time in my life I felt completely out of control. It was also the first time I had experienced depression. I began having anxiety attacks and seriously felt like I was becoming a crazy lady. I had always been so happy and care-free in life, but suddenly I was a mess. I desperately wanted to trust the Lord with the entire situation, but just couldn’t understand the how or why or what of everything.
Two years went by and we were still on the vicious roller coaster.
We finally decided to see a doctor. We did more research and found Dr. Lyles. He’s one of the best fertility doctors in the nation and just happens to be right here in KC. We filled out loads of paperwork and went in for our consultation. Dr. Lyles was very hopeful with our situation. We were both healthy and young, which make fertility treatment success much higher.
He decided it would be worth a shot to try IUI (intra-uterine insemination) at least once before trying anything more invasive and costly.
It sounded like a great plan to us. Once again, I was absolutely convinced IUI would work. We went through all the steps and then into the waiting stage.
I was on the phone with my best friend, Virginia, when I realized it hadn’t worked. That day was definitely my all-time low. I immediately fell to pieces and cried, and cried, and then cried some more. Travis came home and found me just laying here sobbing and he instantly knew. Seeing him only made it hurt that much worse. He was absolutely amazing through it all and just held me and loved me.
I dragged myself to work the next day only to sit and listen to my pregnant office-mate bitch and moan about how awful being pregnant was. It took every ounce of will power within me to not leap across my desk and punch her in the face. Told you I was going crazy. I had listened to her for months at this point and just didn’t think I could take it anymore.
I would have given anything to have morning sickness, fat ankles, and an aching back because all of that would have meant that I was pregnant.
After a couple of weeks, we went back to see Dr. Lyles and re-discuss our game plan. He suggested we go ahead and attempt in-vitro fertilization. We decided to go for it.
I began the meds and was a week away from taking my first injection when I received the phone call that changed our lives forever.
To be continued…
annalee said,
August 13, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
i’ve definitely already cried tears in part one. kristin shared some of the story recently and i am SO glad you are sharing it piece by piece. my mom went through ten years of waiting after i was born and i can remember the teary times each month. you never know who your story is reaching. it’s already touched my heart for sure.
Jonsie Hicks said,
August 13, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
please continue…. love you. what a blessing!
Lindsey said,
August 13, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
I am so glad you are sharing this story! Ford and I know this cycle all too well, and so many other people out there do to. It is especially difficult to go through alone, or with a bunch of pregnant friends!!
Rana Jameson said,
August 13, 2009 @ 1:57 pm
Oh I simply cannot wait to read the next part! Very interesting, very touching… Thanks so much for sharing!
Crystal said,
August 13, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
Heather, I am sorry you had to go through this but I have a feeling the story has a great ending! Will be interested to read the rest =)
jenny roby said,
August 13, 2009 @ 2:27 pm
Can’t tell you how brave I think you are for sharing this and how many people you are going to bless! I love you and am thankful for all God has done and is doing in you and Trav and Arle. I am going to tell several of my friends to come and read and be encouraged!
Maeghan said,
August 13, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
What an amazing story. I never wanted to ask about what you went through. Thank you for sharing. If I am crying through part 1 what are you going to do to me with the rest?
Joy Booth said,
August 13, 2009 @ 2:49 pm
So glad you are sharing it is an amazing testimony. It is one of my favorite stories too.
Allison said,
August 13, 2009 @ 2:52 pm
Thank you for sharing your amazing story. I am sorry to read of your heartbreak, but seeing you with Arle obviously shows the happy ending. I have a very dear friend going through all this right now, so I look forward to hearing about how Arle became a part of your family.
Suzanne said,
August 13, 2009 @ 3:21 pm
So glad you are sharing your story. It will most definitely be a blessing to many. Having ridden the same infertility roller coaster, I know how therapeutic it is to talk about things you have been through and are going through and to read stories of hope, like yours. You will be blessed for sharing.
Linda said,
August 13, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
I have a friend who is dealing with infertility, and this helps me understand.
Your Mother said,
August 13, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
I just gave you a Big smooch on the top of your head and squeezed you real tight, I wish you could have felt it. I love all three of you more than I could ever put down in words.
Renae Bishop said,
August 13, 2009 @ 3:52 pm
I am so glad I “tuned” in to hear the whole story. I feel like I have had the mini version – however that brought tears so I better get the whole box of kleenex. I don’t even know Travis but I love him! Thanks for sharing.
Jill Gearheard said,
August 13, 2009 @ 3:58 pm
You CAN’T leave us hanging!!!! I am dying to hear the rest, I have goosebumps!
Your Father said,
August 13, 2009 @ 4:56 pm
I don’t know if I can take this from my baby girl. Even though I have told the story dozens of time from my viewpoint, I never realized all the pain you were going through, I just always knew everything would be okay. Don’t leave out any details or I’ll be sure and remind you. You may have to write more than that each day or it might take a year and none of us want to wait that long to hear the whole story, even though some of us know it. During that time was when Travis and I had our serious talk.
Stacee said,
August 13, 2009 @ 5:42 pm
I am here at work all teary and weird looking. I am so glad this story has a happy ending. Can’t wait to read further.
Rhonda said,
August 13, 2009 @ 6:28 pm
Heather you are an amazing woman and a great mother!! It’s so very hard when we can’t see the big picture!! You have been so blessed with Arle and I know God has more great plans for your familly. I also know Travis is one of those son-in-laws that your parents wouldn’t trade for!! I have one, too. Do you know Kim and Greg Villar? They now have two beautiful children, one adopted and one conceived after about 12 or 13 years of trying!! Faith in huge amounts is something I admire more than you will ever know!! Can’t wait to read the “rest of the story”!!
Kristen said,
August 13, 2009 @ 8:26 pm
LOOOVE that you’re telling this story. It’s every bit as good (if not better) then the black heels to tractor wheels story! :)
Teri - Your Mother-in-Law :) said,
August 13, 2009 @ 9:09 pm
So remind me not to read Momdiggity at work – the tears were rolling, but I didn’t really care. I love this story, too! And I especially love the outcome :) Thank you for sharing this story. I love the three of you so much. As Rhonda said – Trav’s the kind of son-in-law your folks wouldn’t trade for – well we feel the same about you….the kind of daughter-in-law we wouldn’t trade for. Love to you all!
Iing Gunawan said,
August 13, 2009 @ 9:29 pm
Heather,
Thanks for sharing this story.
How are you guys doing in KC? we miss you guys and off course KC barbeque :)
I actually bookmarked this blog and will check it again occasionally for part 2. God bless you all.
Kim said,
August 13, 2009 @ 10:22 pm
What a precious story of love and faith this is for Arle. I already know much of the story, but am on pins and needles, waiting for the play by play.
What a wonderful story of God’s love and attention to every detail.
Patience, patience, patience we will all need to wait from post to post.
I’ll try not to be like Lebo, saying, “Don’t forget to tell them about the………”
XOXO
lindsay said,
August 14, 2009 @ 7:08 am
Well, I’m already crying and I know the freakin’ story. Amazing. On a different note…we’ve gotta talk Napa. So fun! I did 2 posts on it on my blog and those are my must-do’s, but it depends upon where you are staying. We’ll talk!
Ellie said,
August 14, 2009 @ 8:46 am
My dear friend, I can not stop crying…I know your story
too well, mike and I had a long conversation about our
next step last night. I love your story, it has a beautiful
ending….I envision many more beautiful stories from both
of us:) I love you guys very much
jami nato said,
August 14, 2009 @ 9:04 am
heather,
it’s awesome that you are being vulnerable and telling your story. you’ll never know how many people you’re helping by sharing the hurt associated with infertility. thanks for your courage.
Lauron said,
August 15, 2009 @ 1:31 am
Courage indeed! Wow – what a difficult and very personal story this must be to share w/ the world wide web! It’s evident from those who’ve already posted that you’ve already inspired others and given them hope. I’d also like to add that you’re a really great writer. Your ability to explain things in such detail, compartmentalize certain aspects of the story appropriately for the reader, and lead up to a suspenseful “Part II” is truly great writing on your part. Bravo on that front! And may you, Travis, and Arle have many wonderful blessings as a result of your strength and courage in sharing this story. :) Looking forward to reading the next chapter in your beautiful journey….
LaDawn said,
August 15, 2009 @ 8:07 am
OMG—-really?!!?! TEARS running down the face, thanks!!! I love your story.
I am going to refer my sisiter to you. She is having the very same problem. Her name is JoRie and I would love if you could just chat with her about your process! She is at rock bottom right now and I think your words could help her in this process. Thanks Heather!!
love from IN
bethany said,
August 15, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
Heather,
I met you this morning at starbucks with Kristin. I just randomly found your blog and I can’t tell you how much your story has touched me. I have tears in my eyes as I am reading this… Getting preggo absolutely sucks (for most of us!) Thanks for sharing – I so needed that today!
bethany
Kristin Fulghum said,
August 15, 2009 @ 4:51 pm
i heart this story…so stinkin’ much. of course i’m in tears. you are so amazing and i love the perfect example of God’s faithfulness arle is to you and trav and so many others every single day. thank you for sharing and for being so fabulous!
Brooke Ricklefs said,
August 27, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
Heather,
I had no idea. I loved reading about your trial and trying to trust God through the process. I can’t wait to read part 2!! Thank you for encouraging me by sharing your story…. What a testimony to God’s provision and faithfulness.