When my parents last came to visit, they brought all sorts of stuff they were just sure I wanted.  It took me awhile to actually go through all the junk treasures, but when I finally did I found items such as:

-Poster-sized prints of my high school youth group. That’s right, I said “printS,”  as in “plural.”  Because that’s what my home has been missing…ginormous photos of kids whose names I can hardly even remember.  I have a couple of blank spots on the walls in my dining room and I think these jewels would really be just the perfect things to gaze at while eating dinner each evening.

-My New Kids On The Block Christmas cassette tape that my boyfriend gave me in 6th grade. I also remember him giving me a fabulous bottle of Exclamation perfume with the tape.  I’ll be honest and say that I’m kinda sad it didn’t make it’s way into the memory box, because oh what I wouldn’t give to smell like a huge vat of Kool-Aid these days.  And it’s really just too bad that I don’t even own a cassette player anymore because I can assure you that decorating for Christmas this year would be SO much more fun if we were able to jam out to Funky, Funky Xmas.  I’m totally going to try and track down that little diddy on iTunes.

-An award for being the Algebra I Outstanding Student of the Year. I can pretty much guarantee this was given to me by mistake.  Anyone who knows me, knows the chance of me winning any sort of math award is pretty much impossible.

-A letter to the Tooth “Farie.” This is, by far, my favorite item I’ve come across so far.  I wish I had a stinkin’ scanner that works, because the look of the letter is almost as fabulous as the actual verbiage.  I was obviously just learning cursive and was trying super hard to make it look cool.  I failed miserably.  Just use your imagination as I “read” it to you:

BDear Tooth Farie,

I hope you can pay me for loosing my tooth.  What happened was that at when I was eating my bacon and it was so crunchy tha it got real lose!  And then I then I ran to the bathroom.  It was still hanging by about three roots.  I And then I looked in one of our little mirrors and it was gon must of fallen out and I swallowed it probebly.  Well thanks a whole lot for all the other money youve gave me!

Thanks,

Heather

I’m sure the Tooth “Farie” bought that story hook, line, and sinker.

The most odd thing about all of this is that the very reason my parents said they were driving the 13 hours it takes to get here instead of flying, was to bring us all of our “stuff” that’s been sitting at their house.  There were some Christmas gifts that were too big or too fragile for us to fly home with that we were really looking forward to finally enjoying.

After seeing what all they brought, I asked, “So, where’s that really cool huge planter that you bought us in Mexico?”  My mother’s answer was, “Oh!  Um, I…uh, I actually planted a bunch of stuff in it and it’s out on our deck.”

A couple weeks later, Trav asked me, “Did your parents bring that wine decanter that your aunt and uncle gave us for Christmas?”

So, the next time I spoke to my mother on the phone, I asked her the same question.  She replied, “What wine decanter?”  I said, “I put it up on the shelf in the guest room closet with all of our other stuff.  Is it not still there?”  She said, “Oh!  Um, I…uh, I actually have that displayed up on our buffet with a bunch of my other stuff.”

Evidently my mother thinks I would rather have old posters of pimply teenagers and NKOTB cassette tapes than planters and wine decanters.  Geez, mom, how lame do you think I am????